Core Tenet #1 & Types of Harm
Topic: Core Tenet #1 & Types of Harm
First, a recap of the first Core Tenet of the Path: Do no
harm, except in self-defense. Treat others with Compassion and Patience;
everyone comes to Enlightenment in their own time and in their own way.
When we spoke before about Core Tenet #1, we discussed how
kindness to strangers and criminals can be challenging, but is absolutely
necessary. Today, we are going to talk about the ways in which we cause harm to
ourselves or others without knowing it or meaning to, and how we can apply the
Virtues of Self-Control, Mindfulness, Patience, and Compassion to avoid causing
harm.
One of the hardest things to change is how we think of other
people and the things we say to and about them. However, if you find yourself
passing judgment on others for petty things like what they are wearing, even if
you do not say anything out loud, you are still choosing to focus on negative
thoughts. The sartorial decisions of others are none of our business and do not
necessarily reflect upon their character or honor. About the only time it is
okay to judge somebody on what they are wearing is if they are wearing a suit
made out of human skin. Other than that, what a person chooses to drape
themselves in does not matter. It takes a great deal of Mindfulness and
Self-Control, but you can train yourself to recognize those judgmental thoughts
and dismiss them. Such thoughts are beneath you. Focus instead on seeing the
person inside the clothes, and recognizing them as a fellow human being upon
Life’s path. Since Mindfully observing this practice, I have found that it is
much easier to maintain my Serenity when I choose not to trouble myself with
trivialities.
We must also be Mindful of how we treat those who are
serving us in some capacity, such as the baristas who brew our coffee or the
cashier at the grocery store. It is easy to forget that they are human beings
with dignity and intrinsic value, but the bedrock of Path doctrine is
benevolence. We are challenged to apply that doctrine to all of our
interactions, no matter how brief or transactional those interactions may be. Exercise
Patience and Compassion, especially when things go wrong. Sometimes mistakes
are made, but it is never okay to make remarks intended to hurt. Perhaps they
are just having a bad day and finding it difficult to concentrate on their
work. We have all been there. You have no idea how much damage you can do by
being mean to another person, but we all know the immense value of kindness.
One way we can end up harming ourselves is by maintaining
relationships with toxic people. If a person’s presence in your life is
bringing you more negative than positive energy, it might be a good idea to
sever ties with that person. It can be hard, especially if that person is a
family member or romantic partner. but you owe it to your peace of mind to only
allow mutually beneficial relationships to take up your time and attention.
Narcissists and other energy vampires are not worth keeping in your life. You
can waste years of your life trying -and failing- to make them happy while
completely ignoring your own needs, and that is detrimental to your mental
health. You will never get those years back. We should also never assume
responsibility for the actions of another person, unless that person is your
child and they are under the age of six. If you find yourself apologizing to
others for your partner’s or friend’s behavior, that is a sign of a toxic
relationship.
It takes a great deal of Self-Control, Mindfulness, Effort,
and Patience to train your mind to focus on the positive rather than the
negative. It is a daily practice to recognize and dismiss those thoughts that
disturb our Serenity, so today’s sermon comes with homework: For the next week,
if you find yourself judging somebody for something inconsequential like what
they are wearing, remind yourself that such petty concerns are beneath your
regard. Challenge yourself to look for something positive instead of focusing
on things you dislike. See what kind of affect this practice has on your mood
and your sense of inner peace. Do you think you can do this?
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