Giving Money to Broke People

-

 Topic: Giving Money to Broke People

I am, by nature, a very generous person. Some of you already know this. Not only do I give and lend money to my friends and family, I also donate to charities and even give money to people begging on the sidewalk. Now, there is a school of thought that you should never give money to broke people, because they might spend it on something you disapprove of. I have been advised instead to go buy them food. Let me explain the problems with that, and why I will continue to give money to poor people.

First of all, there are very few things of which I genuinely disapprove, and then only mildly. I would never judge or condemn somebody for doing those things, even though I personally find them distasteful and would prefer not to do them myself. Opiate painkillers are a good example: I know they are addictive and can be dangerous, so I turn to other pain relief methods. But if others are suffering such pain that they need those drugs, it is not my place to tell them otherwise. So I do not care what the broke man on the sidewalk needs the money for. I am not going to ask, and I am certainly not going to assume anything. If he just needs money for cigarettes, if he wants to buy food, or if he wants to buy wine and spray paint and have a little party, even if he is trying to buy heroin, it is nothing to me. I am not qualified to judge another’s suffering, nor am I qualified to decide for him what will alleviate his suffering.

Secondly, it is not my responsibility to purchase food for a stranger. I do not know what kind of food he likes or needs, I do not know if he has any allergies or sensitivities, and I do not know if he is a vegetarian or vegan. I do not know his dental situation or if he could even eat something crunchy like an apple. What if I buy him a ham sandwich and he is Jewish? There is no such thing as a "universal food." Much easier just to trust that, if he wants to buy food, he can buy it for himself. He is an adult, not a little kid who will only blow it on candy, and I am not his caretaker. He did not ask me to go grocery shopping for him, he asked me for money. To determine what kind of help you think somebody deserves is a violation of the third Core Tenet of the Path regarding bodily autonomy; it takes away their self-determination.

I also will not make assumptions about why a person is broke. I have been broke, through no fault of my own and certainly not because of a substance abuse disorder. Although I was lucky enough never to have to beg, it has been a very near thing a few times in my life. I have also been homeless before, so I remember the struggle. I remember the loss of dignity. I will not demean another human being by judging them unworthy of my help or by presuming to know what they need better than they do.

Last of all, my generosity does not come with conditions. Those of you in the congregation to whom I have loaned or given money may have noticed that I have never asked you what you needed the money for, nor will I. Because that is none of my concern. I barely care whether or not I am even paid back. Various people currently owe me over two thousand dollars. I may or may not see that money, but I am not going to hound anyone about it. My sole concern is that there is a human being who is suffering, and I can help. So I do. This is one of the ways in which I practice Compassion.

Do you often see people begging for money on the sidewalk? Have you made assumptions about them that may or may not be true?

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

On Sacrifice and the Path

-
  On Sacrifice and the Path   Sacrifice is a prevailing theme of many world religions, whether you are giving up life, time, or money. The idea is that you have to pay for salvation somehow; nothing is free, after all. Some religions have an entire laundry list of things you cannot do, things you must give up entirely in order to practice their faith. Some ask for money, either through tithes or “charitable donations.” The entire Christian faith is based on what is an objectively barbaric form of human sacrifice. The message is clear: to be saved, you must offer up something in return, or forgo something you once indulged in. A sacrifice must be made. Pagan spiritual traditions incorporate energetic reciprocity: to invoke the favors of the gods, certain offerings are made. These offerings can be physical or energetic in nature, either cream and honey to please the Fae folk, or personal psychic energy expended during a healing rite. These sacrifices are more personal (as pagan pra
Read more

Beware the False Dichotomy

-
  The appeal of the dichotomy is understandable. It’s psychologically soothing to have two clear options, so we can act accordingly. Unfortunately, life is messy and complicated, and many of the dichotomies we embrace as a society are not only false, they are actively damaging. Consider the false dichotomy of “fight or flight,” of which I’ve written before. If you believe you only have two possible responses to perceived threat of trauma, you won’t realize that freeze, flop, and friend may be more appropriate to the situation. You could end up punching your boss, because running away is for cowards. Even worse, however, are the dichotomies we apply to sex, sexuality, and gender: you’re either gay or straight, male or female. What we are finally beginning to acknowledge is that these things exist on a spectrum, and the old labels just don’t work anymore. But there are still those who cling to these false dichotomies and refuse to recognize anyone’s identity if it doesn’t fit in a bo
Read more

Path Doctrine on the Seven Deadly Sins

-
  Topic: Path Doctrine on the Seven Deadly Sins Today’s sermon is about the Christian list of seven “deadly sins” and how they relate to Path teachings. Some of these so-called sins are of the body, some are of the mind. But they must be subject to rational dissection so we can extract whatever value they may have. Lust is a body sin, and an easy one. The sex lives of others are none of our business, as long as everyone involved is a consenting adult and no harm is being done. If you are not hurting anyone or treating other people as things, feel free to lust after and even have sex with as many people as you want. Greed is one of the sins that you only commit in your head; the only problem with greed is that it can turn you into a power-hungry asshole. But there are wealthy people who still try to make the world a better place, so there is nothing wrong with greed itself. Gluttony is a body sin, and is contrary to the Virtue of Balance. If you find yourself overindulging, mayb
Read more