Life After Mama

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 Topic: Life After Mama

I am going to get a little real, here. Kind of raw. This sermon might even make both of us cry. But I want to talk about what happens when your Mom is no longer just a phone call away.

Way back in the day, when I was between husbands and spent a whole lot of time with my sister, we did not have Google on a mobile device. What we had was our mother’s phone number. Any question, about anything, and we would call Mom. Need directions to the nearest gas station and is it open? Mom. Wondering what that one book is called about the horse and something about a lightning storm? Mom. Later on, I would call my mother for sewing tips, moral advice, and how long to cook something. She was the first person I shared any kind of good news with, because she was always sincerely excited and proud of me. I liked to call her on her birthday and Mother’s Day, and our phone conversations grew longer with each passing year.

Mama passed away August 25, 2023, but I still find myself reaching for the phone when I get a raise, or when my granddaughter Gwen says something just ridiculously adorable. I know my mother is still here, partly because of the Tarot cards but also because I can feel her here with me. It is not the same as being able to tap my phone a couple times and be talking to Mama within seconds. Without Mama to consult when I am faced with a pickle, I have to kind of wing it. I feel like I am flying blind, walking a tightrope without a net, pick your metaphor. I have the Tarot cards and that helps with the big things, but I am always second-guessing myself about the little things.

Now I have a grown daughter, and I am Mom (Or rather, “Mum”). She calls me for advice and to share good news and to vent when things get frustrating. In an emergency, I am the first person she reaches out to, but she also calls me just to talk for three hours. All of this is wonderful, of course, but also a little scary. What if I give her the wrong advice and ruin her life? What happens if she comes to me with a question I cannot answer? Who should I turn to? In short, what if I am a bad Mom? I barely know what I am doing; who in their right mind would trust me with such responsibility? But don this mantle I must, for there is no-one else to do it. I am fortunate enough to have a life partner who can step in whenever necessary, so at least I am not trying to do this alone, like Mama had to when Daddy passed away.

All of this has given me a greater appreciation for my mother and everything she was for me. I miss her every day. If you have also lost your mother, my heart goes out to you.

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