No Offense

 We’re all a little too easily offended anymore.

Here’s an example: I had a conversation with somebody who sometimes needs a mobility device to get around. They were complaining because people keep offering to help them with things, stating that “I’m not your infantilization kink!” is an appropriate response when this happens. In other words, this person gets so angry at people who are at least making an Effort to be Compassionate that they will loudly, publicly shame them for doing so. This does nothing whatsoever but tell the person that being nice isn’t worth it and disabled people are jerks. Then, when they see an old lady crawling down the sidewalk, dragging a wheelchair and trying to control a German Shepherd at the same time, they can just step over her because they don’t want to “infantilize” her by offering to help.

You choose to be offended. You choose your reaction when you do get offended. It’s not on them, it’s on you. The hundredth person who offers to hold the door for you or carry something for you doesn’t know about the other ninety-nine; they just see a person who may be struggling and they want to help. It costs nothing to say “I’ve got this, but thank you,” even if you have to say it hundreds of times every day. It’s not going to hurt you to react to kindness with kindness; in fact, that is the only appropriate reaction to kindness. Reacting like they just punched your dog makes you an asshole.

Another example of how easily offended or triggered we are is the sudden aversion to the word “kill.” For some reason, everyone now has to say “unalive” like that’s a real word. There is nothing inherently triggering or offensive about “kill,” nor does using another word for the same thing make any kind of sense. We’re still taking about the end of a life, no matter what word we’re using. It’s stupid in the extreme to make up a word to avoid using one with the exact same meaning.

Taking offense means you’re making the worst assumptions about the other person. You’re pretending to know the motives of a stranger. You’re also allowing the words and actions of others to dictate who you are and how you choose to react. It gives the other person power over you, relinquishing your self-control and justifying it by throwing the onus back on them.

So if you decide to take offense over a word or an action, just know that the offense is in your head, not theirs.