Aristotle and Integrity

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September 17, 2023

Integrity & Self-Reflection

The topic of this sermon is a quote from Aristotle and its relevance to practicing the Virtue of Integrity:

“The most important relationship we can all have is the one you have with yourself, the most important journey you can take is one of self-discovery. To know yourself, you must spend time with yourself, you must not be afraid to be alone. Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.”

I lived alone for the first time at the age of forty-two. Until then, I lived with people: family at first, with four siblings plus my parents, and then there were romantic partners, some of which became spouses, and various housemates. Because I did not know what it would be like, I was afraid of being alone. Eventually, I was kind of shoved into a position of living on my own, and during that time, I learned a great deal about myself that I never would have learned otherwise. I recommend spending some time in solitude and self-reflection, taking the time to learn what kind of person you really are, even if you are in a relationship. If the relationship you are in is healthy, your partner will respect your wish to be left alone sometimes. I would agree with Aristotle that this time of solitary reflection is a necessary part of anyone’s personal development.

It is also true that your relationship with your Self is the most important relationship you can maintain, as it is the only one guaranteed to last your entire lifetime. How you feel about and relate to yourself affects how well you accept love and friendship from others; if you do not believe you deserve to be loved, you will not be able to trust love coming from another person. Years of abuse and emotional manipulation gave me a warped self-image and taught me that I was unworthy of love.  I am still learning that other people can see me and love me for who I am, and getting that love and acceptance is helping to improve my relationship with myself. Being seen and listened to helps me to see and listen to myself, and is making me a better person. Just like Ka, these concepts are a wheel, with one leading to the other.

This application of the Virtue of Integrity also leads us back to Self-Control: We must exercise the discipline to use times of solitude productively and to avoid becoming bitter. It also involves practicing the Virtue of Mindfulness: Self-awareness is just as important as field-awareness. As a result of your internal reflection, you will be better able to be your best self and present yourself honestly. There is also an aspect of Balance: Followers of the Path are encouraged to find a Balance between time spent in solitude and time spent with others. Of course, as with the practice of all the Virtues, this journey of self-discovery also takes Effort but leads to Serenity.

One thing that is recommended as a part of following Path doctrine and learning more about yourself is keeping a journal or diary. It can be an eye-opening experience to express, even to yourself, how you really feel and what you really think about things. You may also find, as I have, that it is cathartic to write about your life and what you are going through. Sometimes you can even work out a solution to a problem by writing about it. Another way you can learn more about yourself is by talking to a therapist; they often offer insight and will ask you intelligent, useful questions. Find out what resources are available to you and do the work to discover and master your true Self.

Ultimately, your own experience with exploring yourself and getting to know your own mind will be just as personal as your path toward Enlightenment. Your teachers and gurus and life coaches and even therapists can offer suggestions, but the route you take will be entirely up to you, and therefore more meaningful than anything handed to you. Can you think of any of the other Virtues that may be applicable?

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