On Self-Control & Chemical Dependency

 As somebody who struggles with a nicotine addiction, I want to talk about the Virtue of Self-Control and how it relates to chemical dependence. I will be referring specifically to nicotine addiction, but the idea is the same for just about any chemical that you can become dependent on.

The Path reminds us that we should maintain Self-Control, but also teaches that addiction is a medical concern, not a moral one. Having an addiction does not make you a bad person. There are chemicals, such as nicotine and opiates, that actually alter your brain’s wiring and make you crave them. Sometimes, those chemicals are also harmful to our bodies, but the fact of that dependence remains, irrational as it may be. Somebody suffering from a chemical dependence fights a constant battle with it, and sometimes loses that battle. When that happens, it is not exactly a loss of Self-Control, but rather a situation in which the wrong Self is in control.

Let me explain. As I have often discussed with my therapist, all of us are basically run by a committee of different voices. So when we speak of the Self, we are really talking about the Selves, and one of those Selves is your addiction. It is up to you how you handle that Self, and whether or not you let it take over. If you refuse to recognize it for what it is, sometimes it will take the wheel without you even realizing it. If you give in to the discomfort and feed the addiction, you lose that fight and then start all over again, with the craving only temporarily satiated. If you want to quit, you have to figure out a way to address and answer that voice, because it is never going away. Any addict will tell you that they feel those cravings even years after they stopped using.

Sometimes, a compromise may be reached with a chemical dependency. You might cut back, or limit the times you may indulge. You can make a pack of cigarettes last a whole week. It takes a lot of discipline and Self-Control, and only mitigates the physical damage, but in some cases, that is the best we can do. The truth about addiction is that it is with you for your whole life; you do not become un-addicted to anything, the part of your brain that has learned to crave nicotine or opiates does not just go away.

The most important thing we can do for somebody trying to address a chemical dependency is give them space to relapse sometimes. There is no easy way to quit an addiction; it is going to be an uphill battle. Try to be kind about it.